looking carefully around (and to watch it on two small sons, adult a clever daughter, mother, home, work), somehow decided that her life there is no need. “I’m useless”, she said. I said loudly, so loudly that lurking somewhere in death, which, as you know, part of life, heard.
So the first thing would say the stadium Oksana, whether it is Tony Robbins, would be the following: do not start the process of self-destruction, if your life has gone really bad.
Oksana began to cough. Once so badly that doctors had to prescribe her tortured syrups and pills, and a friend living far to the South, was invited to heal. Here on the way from a friend at a height of several thousand meters, it happened. Oksana light suddenly pierced so bad, she thought, someone is shot. Directly in the plane. She sat in the chair, there, in the air, looked around — all right, not like shoot — and pinched a non-existent wound with your hand. It seemed to her that a bullet pierced her departure and on the back there is necessarily a hole, from which a drop of blood comes out. Now all will emerge.
In Moscow, Oksana met mom, saw that her daughter is not herself in pain and was taken to the city hospital. That night, February 23, too well celebrated among men and nearly frozen vagrants from the streets, the word “cancer” for the first time hung in the air, though it is not expressed. The doctors did x-rays and saw a shadow on my lung Oksana.
But she still had two months of wandering in the hospitals, exhausting high temperature and despair, when long could not diagnose. Finally, after biopsies and countless tests, she would believe in the Federal SMRC Oncology. N. N. Blokhin and diagnosis: diffuse large b-cell lymphoma. And here, in the intensive care unit, Oksana formulate the second principle of life to speak in front of the stadium: “a Positive attitude is more than half the cases. People have to believe that it will recover.”
No, Oksana-the first just decided to die: “I am the most hopeless, most unfortunate, I can’t move, I’m gonna die.” But next to her in intensive care put a young girl who was not going to die. She had even more severe form of cancer than Oksana, but she was absolutely not in the hospital: laughing, talking loudly, eating unwholesome food, was doing a manicure and even pedicure, leaning over the tube of the instrument, panting from weakness. And Oksana trembled: the overflowing life is contagious, far more contagious than death. The fifth course of chemotherapy she was alive and believed that going to make it.
The second stage of the disease Oksana began after radiotherapy. When Oksana, in General, won. She went into remission, but was afraid to believe that a healthy. Come fear to go out, be among people, hugging children coming from school. What if the infection suddenly something will trigger, return the disease? Oksana seemed that the cancer had let go of her for a while and will call you back. To pacify the fear, Oksana has formulated a new principle: “it is Impossible to live as a turtle in the shell. You can’t say, I can’t. You should be able to enjoy life and to dream. Here and now”.
And she learned to drive a car with manual transmission, went to English language courses and decided to jump with a parachute.
How about your husband? She was able to let go, to forgive?
We sit in a cafe and drinking tea with a complex name and the no less complex flavor. Oksana talks about what he has experienced easy, barely touching, and glowing. She is very beautiful now. “Take care of emotions, she says. Never in my life hate. Take everything calmly, even death. I realized that if you want to change the world around, start with yourself. You can not change others you can change yourself and your view of the situation. I did it and happy.”
And invisible the stadium roars.
Text and photo: Maria Stroganova